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8.4.2004
GUH...


So, yesterday me and Matt broke up for all of...a few hours..then, he started sending me text messages and i coodnt deal with it, so i told him to come over my house...
And, I dunno what it was about seein him but it just made me realize how much I really love him so we got back together and whatever...But, I'm dtill not sure if I;m happy..Cuz the minute he left I called up the other guy...

I just love Matt soooo much and I dont wanna hurt him...But I dunno how I can't...He's seriously my everything..And, when u get put in a situation like this u'll understand..I mean, I've met other guys before that i kinda liked...but no one like this....We have soo much in a common...I never thought about dumping Matt uintil now...I mean...I wanna end it..but I dotn at the same time..And, I dunno whether it's cuz I love Matt or I dont want things to change...I dont wanan lose him and I kno I wont becuz I know he'll always be there for me asa  friend...But, I duno if I want him as only a friend...God, I am soooooo confused...If u guys only knew...

I just wanna know that if things with this guy dont work out...I'll always jhave Matt to run back to..I know I'm sefish...:-/ But that isd what I want..I dotn want Matt meeting other girls...I cant imagine how he must feel rite now...GOD DAMMIT!
i never wantd to hurt him...:-(

And I know I will ALWAYS love matt no matter what..He's always gonan be special to me

I am vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear Im right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swear you saw yourself


<3~Andrea :-(

Posted at 11:42 am by andiedem
(2) thought  

8.2.2004
Holy FUCK!!


Wow...I am sooo confused...
The other nite at my frend's party, I met the greatest guy...He is soooooooo easy to talk to...and he's into a lot of the same stuff  as me...And he's so nice and sweet...i don't kno what to do with myself...

And then there's Matt...Who, I totally love...So, I dunno what tto do becuz I've never ever clicked with a guy soo fast...and already we'e talked so much..This is all so crazy I don't know what to do with myself...

What can I do? I'm soo confused..This is all I've thougth about the past 3 days!!

FUCK!!!
*Andrea*


Posted at 1:44 pm by andiedem
wishful thinking  

7.24.2004
-Beach Bound-


 

So...Today, I'm leaving for the beach...
Not the nicest day, but I guess I'll deal...And I have to go to the doctor in liek an hour becuz I mite havea  bladder infection...Ehhh :-/
Nothing like peeing in a cup rite? All so that they can give me antibiotics that I can't even fuckin swallow...

This morning my mom asked me if I was sexually active...Ehhh...I said no...
Why would she ask me that??

But, anway, the beach should be alot of fun as long as we get some good weather..And anyone who wants can come up for a day..or a night ;-)...
Just call my cell anytime and let me know if u wanna come up...U know the number...And if u don't then ur not welcome anyway...

Well, I'll miss u all I'm sure...(Yea rite!) I'm gonan be workin on my tan...While u guys are stuck her in shitty Lowell, working and doing nothing!! :-)

<3~Andrea
*Matt is my everything...I will miss u so much, baby!*

 


Posted at 9:40 am by andiedem
wishful thinking  

7.22.2004
*Another Surveyy...

WORD ASSOCIATION
Slippers:: soft and fluffy
Hat:: guys
Hard:: algebra
Free::  i wish
Space:: aliens
Taste:: tongue
Good charlotte:: the dorks
Red:: anger
Deep:: poetry
Heart:: love
Cord:: phone
Cheese:: mouse
Rain:: ick
Work:: moneyy $$
Pedal:: bike
Head:: blowjob
Bed:: sleep
Fluff:: marshmallows
Hardcore:: SEX/porn
Race:: car
Knife:: cut
Jump:: hurtles

I....
am:: Andrea
want:: clothes
need:: MONEY
crave:: (i will not say)
love:: Matt :-*
hate:: ..u know who u r
did:: nothing today feel:: mad
miss::
am annoyed by:: life
would rather:: not be here
am tired of:: making plans so that they can just fall through
will always:: be easygoing...unfortunately

SILLY STUFF
What is your favourite genre of music?:: punk/emo...but i liek everything
What time is it now?:: 8:39
What day is it?:: Thursday
Whens the last time you called someone?:: umm...half hour ago
How much money do you have right now?:: none..just a bunch of change
Are you hungry?:: ehh...not really
Whatcha doin?:: this survey 
Do you like parades?:: no
Do you like the moon?:: sure
What are you going to do when youre done with this?:: watch TV?
Isnt cup a funny word when you repeat it over and over?:: i guess so?
If you could have any magical power what would it be?:: see through clothes/walls, etc...
Have you ever had a picnic?:: umm..yes when i was little
Did you ever have one of those skip-its when you were young?:: o yeahh...i was NASTY at it
What about sock em boppers?:: my brother has one
Are you wearing any socks right now?:: nope

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE
funny?:: at times?
pretty?:: when i take the time to make myslef look presentable
sarcastic?:: sure
lazy?:: definetly
hyper?:: sumtimes
friendly?:: yupp
evil?:: no
smart?:: yea
strong?:: not at all
talented?:: no
dorky?:: idk?

ASSOCIATE THESE WORDS WITH SOMEONE YOU KNOW (or dont know)
high:: Joe
skip:: Skippy
dance:: Heidi
lonely:: umm..?
pen:: wtf kinda question is that?
flower:: STEFF!!
window:: Joey
psycho:: agen...Steff
brain freeze:: hmm...?
orange:: Steff
sassy:: ...
jelly:: the boys

FOR OR AGAINST
suicide:: i dont really care
love:: for
drunk drivers:: against
airplanes:: for
war:: against
canada:: sure why not?
united states:: for
rock music:: for
gay marriage:: for
school:: well i hae to go either way
surveys:: against..their addicting
parents:: against
cars:: for
killing:: against
britney spears:: I'll say for...just for Joey!
coffee:: for
pants:: against...hehe

WOULD YOU EVER
Sky dive?:: noo
Play strip poker?:: if there were hott men 
Run away?:: i tried when i was little..but i just hid behind the couch...does that count? 
Curse at a teacher?:: if he was cool...like Mr.C
Not take a shower for a week?:: umm...no
Ask someone out?:: i'd trick them into asking me out instead!
Lie to someone to make them think better of you?:: yea
Visit a foreign country for more than a month?:: no
Go scuba diving?:: noo
Write a book?:: i'm thinking about it 
Become a rockstar?:: no
Have casual sex?:: sure...if he was hott enough 

LAST QUESTIONS
What shampoo do you use?:: Garnier Fructis...it smells goood :-)
Whens the last time you did something sexual with the opposite sex?:: uhh...2 days ago...
What kind of computer do you have?:: Compaq
What grade are you in?:: gonna be a sophmore
Do you like to throw popcorn at people in the movies?:: i dont really get any sick pleasure out of it..no
Or just make out?:: yes
How many posters do you have in your room?:: umm..none right now...just painted it
How many cds do you have?:: like 30 maybe?
What time is it now?:: 8:51




Posted at 9:08 pm by andiedem
(2) thought  

*I can almost taste victory...


So, last nite I went to Mathew's house...Fun, fun...As usual!! I love hims oo much....
And, I gave him my journal to read... :-/ I thought it mite be fun...
And, tonite I went to th mal with Matt, Kayla, Becky, and this kid Jon...It was fun..I got a new bathing suit...A purse, a book, and sum lotion..Yupp, spent all my money..Half for the bathing suit...($30)...Ehhh..It'll be worth it tho cuz like the rest of my Smmer is gonan be at the beach..or like half of it anyway..Yayy!! I'll finally get a TAN!! haha...I guess I'm a little bit behind everyone else...What can I say? I'd rather be in the house then outside....O well :-)

Umm...yes, I'd liek to have a survey taken...Who thinks I look like a horse?...And, Shawna, u dont count...
So, yeah, just let me know I guess...

 Hmm..well, i think I  shood go to bed cuz it's liek 3 in the morning..And, I have to get up and clean tomorrow cuz Baydee is coming...

<3~Andrea
-I love Matthew-


We were meant to love for soo much more...


Posted at 2:59 am by andiedem
(1) thought  

7.19.2004
Surveyy...



1. name some of ur girl friends. miranda, ashley, heidi, kayla, becky, tiffy, jenn, steff
3. what friend have you known the longest? jenn
4. what friend have you known the shortest? tiffy
5. who do you call the most? miranda
6. who calls you the most? miranda
7. who do you talk to the most on IM? tiffy, miranda, steff
8. who do you talk to the most in email? no one i dont have e-mail
9. what friend do you have the most sleepovers with? miranda, heidi, steff (used to)
10. what friend do you get together the most with? miranda
11. what friend do you know the most about? steff...i think i know TOO much! and miranda
12. what friend do you take the most pictures with? idk?
13. which of your friends is closest in age? umm...steff?

14. who do you have the most memories with? all of them
15. who do you have the most inside jokes with? kayla, miranda, steff
16. which friends can sometimes read your mind? miranda, steff
17. which friend do you trust the most? heidi, tiffy, ashley
18. whos the funniest? kayla, tiffy, ashley, steff
19. who laughs the most? becky (she'll laugh for anything)
20. whos the most giving? idk?
21. whos most likely to be famous? none of them
22. who do you go shopping with the most? idk?
23. who do you go to the movies with the most? heidi probly...
24. who goes online the least? Ashley
25. who is the most like you? all of them i guess...
26. whos house is your favorite? hmm...kayla's i think...it's always craazy

27. who has the most pets? no one..they all just have a dog...except ash, but we all know the chiamaria story!
28. who do you have the most classes with? ashley
29. who looks the most like you? umm..i have noo clue
30. whos your smartest friend? probly heidi
31. who do you talk to on the phone the longest? idk?
33. which girl friend do you have the most nicknames with? ashley! (dobocci)
34. which guy friend do you have the most nicknames with? idk?
35. which friend is the shortest? ashley
36. which friend is the tallest?  matt
37. which friend lives the closest to you? umm..heidi...steff used to, but she left me :-(
36. which friend lives the farthest from you? all the rest of them
37. which friend has the wierdest obsessions? probly heidi and steff
38. what friends sit with you at lunch? heidi, kayla, joey, becky
39. what friend eats the most? steff, miranda
40. which of your friends have a boyfriend/girlfriend? who knows these days?
41. which friend annoys you the most? umm..not gonan name any names
42. which friend do you go into chats the most with? none
43. who is your prettiest friend? i'd say heidi...
44. who is your cutest friend? idk?
45. who is your hottest friend? idk?
46. which friend has the nicest skin color: heidi and miranda
47. which friend swears the most: umm...heidi?
48. which of your friends have the nicest teeth? heidi..
49. whos the most outgoing? kayla! and becky..(snorting SALT for a dollar!! haha)
50. who has the cutest laugh? umm...def. not becky...haha! ;-)
51. who has the funniest laugh? ashley, tiffy
52. who has the nicest eyes?  heidi, miranda
53. who has the prettiest hair? idk?
54. who has the coolest hair? umm...
55. who is the most creative/artistic? kayla, steff
56. who has the nicest smile? heidi?
57. which of your friends helps you the most with tests/homework: umm...ashley (but she's really not much of a help!)
58. who would you die without? ash...
59. who is the sweetest? umm..ashley
60. who wears the most makeup? probly ME and steff!!
61. who wears the least amout of makeup? ashley
62. who is the worst at computers? who knows?
63. who understands you the most? all of them...



That was a good waste of time...:-)
<3~Andrea
-i love matt!-

Posted at 11:00 pm by andiedem
wishful thinking  

7.18.2004
}i{ You're my wonderwall }i{



Wow, some people just love to be gay...But that's OK...I really could give a shit..
So, yea...My weekend...Let's see..
Yesterday me and my mom went to Old Navy...I only got 3 shirts...not too excited with their selection...I was dissapointed...Usually, I get lieke the whole store...o well...
Then, I got home and I went to matt's...But, I had a MAJOR headache..So, it kinda ruined things..i felt like i was gonan pass out..And of course I couldn't take anything for it, becuz stupid me, can't swallow pills...But, yeah...
And, today I went to BJ's with my mom...That store is CRAZY...Everything is in liek huge bulks...So, we have to go back and get food for when we go to the beach next week...I can't wait..It;s gonna be soo much fun!

Wow, It seems liek Summer is almost over...Mine pretty much is...Cuz, next week I'm gonan be atthe beach, then i'm home for a week, then off to the beach agen..Then, Matt's leaving for Florida for the rest of the Summer, and I'm going away to NY for my cuzzin's wedding...Then, it will be time for school agen...ughh...O well

ťAndreaŤ



Posted at 7:25 pm by andiedem
wishful thinking  

7.15.2004
*Nothing gold can stay...



Hmm..well let's see...
yesterday, I went to Joe's and so did Matt and Miranda...Not too much happenin thurr...
Tonite, I was sposed to hang out with matt but he got grounded or sumthing so he coodn't....So then I spent the rest of the night looking for plans..
Me and Ryan were gonna go to the movies to see Anchorman, but he's too cool for me and went to Andrew's house instead...
Then, me and Joey were gonan go see Spider Man 2 with Sam but their p[arents woodn't let them go...
And, now I'm all dressed up and ready to go out and there is no where to go...
Hmm...


<3~Andrea

P.S.-Tiffy, I'm here for u..Love you, babe!


Posted at 9:02 pm by andiedem
wishful thinking  

7.13.2004
>I'd rater die, then spend a nite without u<


 

Well, last nite I got home from Pennsylvania..That was a good time I guess...
Let's see what I did...
Wednesday I left and was in the car for 6 hours...Funn..Then I got there and watched some TV..then went to bed...
Thursday I sat around all day doing a cross-stich thing for my aunt..Don't ask...
Friday, I went to the Fireman's Field Days...It's a carnival basically...My dad sits there and plays Bingo the whole time we're there..It's pretty funny..cuz he doesnt win...lol...and they have good food there..Ad apparently pretty hott men..which I never notived before...Haha..
Then Saturday  my dad's cousin Cott came over...And she thinks she's physic...So, she read our jewelry.She sed she saw colorful ribbos wuth mine, which meant lots of energy...and she also said she thinks I let people walk all over me...and i never wanna see anyone mad..i always want everyone to be happy...And she said I would do anything for anyone, and they dont always return the favors, and poeple take advantage of me...And i want everyone to liek me..Which I think she got pretty good...I mean that is exactly me...
So, Then Sunday I went to my dad's friend's house on the Lake that they just built...It's a mansio..Real nice...And the cutest baby ever was there...She had HUGANTIC blue eyes...She was adorable...And then I went out to eat...And a WICKED hott boy came in...And yea...But, whatever...I think I need to def. start making friiends up there so that when I go I jhave sumthing to do...
And then yesterday i came home..I slept in the back on the floor for half the way...And I was home by 3:30 then I went over to Matt's...Of course :-)

So, that was my weekend...
<3-Andrea
  *I love Matthew*


Posted at 2:09 pm by andiedem
wishful thinking  

7.6.2004
*angered...



Let's see...Haven't posted in a while, so I'm gonan have to catch up...

We'll start with the 4th...Yess...That was fun, I went to Matt's house...His family had a huge cookout...His ittle cuzzin Emily is wayy too cute...I watched Sleeping Beauty with her...Haha...And Matt's lil sis, Abby pulled me in the pool..with my clothes on..yeah..not funn...hehe...But what can ya do? 12 year olds are stronger then me...Ehh...Haha...Anywho...

Yesterday, my mom had a cook out..which turned into a cook in cuz it was bad weather...Mr.Burnham was supposed to attend that but then he decided to be cool and not call me...Until 1:30 in the morning...Yea...not cool...

So, when he finally caled me he invited me to go to the movies today...But did he call me today to klet me know when we were going? NOPE...So, he's at the movies with Joe rite now...Yea...What a cool kid...Even after his aunt told him he needs to take me out on a date and pay for me and stuff...But, whatever...

And tomorrow night I'm leaving til Sunday to go to the lake...So, u'd think Matt mite wanna see me..But, apparently not...Yea...That's cool...Incase ucan tell, I'm not in the best mood..Nor am I very happy with Mr.Burnham...

*Andrea*
-We're the coolest kids, and we take what we can get the hell out of this town-


Posted at 2:08 pm by andiedem
wishful thinking  

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